Dragon Cage Chronicles
by Wellen
Summary: Dragon Cage, a Simulated Red vs Blue War Outpost on the far off planet of Horu, located in a small valley situated off the in the middle of nowhere, even the closest town is far off from where the Reds and Blues are. The people on the planet don't even know about this, but then again, this story isn't about the people there, is it? Get ready for swearing, ass kissing and Sangheili.


**I don't own Blue vs. Red, and or Halo. But every character you see is mine except for the one owned by Rooster Teeth and Bungie.**

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><p>In a grassland located in the middle of nowhere, two soldiers stood by each other on the top of a structure viewing at the vast savannah. One was clad in Orange armor; the other one was clad in Red. The tan one said, "Why are we doing this again?" The red one replied, "We are doing sentry duty Frank, remember?"<p>

"Oh yeah, you know what Jack, here's the thing…. IT'S BORING!" yelled Frank.

"Calm down, Frank. It's better than being nagged by Sarge" said Jack.

"HEY! SHITHEADS! GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" yelled a feminine voice.

"YEAH!" yelled another voice.

"WE'RE COMING!" Frank yelled back.

The two soldiers walked down the ramp approached two other soldiers clad in Rose and Yellow armor. The Rose armored soldier said to the Yellow one, "So, what's the thing called again? Heckmen?"

Heckmen replied, "Its a M12RG1 Light Anti-Aircraft/Armor Vehicle prototype, Seline, em I mean Sir! I mean Madam!"

Seline chuckled, "You cute when you're nervous, now English please?"

"Its a Gauss-Rocket' Hog, Madam"

"I thought those were separated you know Gauss' Hog one, Rocket' Hog the other,"

"They managed to produce one and wants us to test it out,"

"Well we have the perfect candidates, we'll use the Blues as target practice and we'll have the two idiots test this out, in case it explodes,"

"We heard that, Madam," said Jack with his arms crossed.

"Well where's the Hog? I want to test it out, beats sentry duty anyday!" said Frank.

Seline removed her helmet placed two fingers in her mouth and whistled. A black and red Warthog with a Gauss Cannon between the gap in the M79 Multiple Launch Rocket System came charging down the hill stopping right in front of Frank. "What the..." Frank started. But he was cut off by Heckmen, who said "I have programmed a Auto-pilot system into the Hog. We also have a radar and cup holders,"

"Cup holders? That's amazing Heckmen!" said Seline

"Yeah, I'm pretty amazing," said Heckmen, his chest swelling with pride.

"Pfft, Sergeant's Pet," muttered Jack under his breath.

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><p><strong>Blue Base<strong>

The Party Rock Anthem rang through out Blue base, the Blues were celebrating on another successful defense from Red Team's last attempt at taking over their base. A woman Lavender colored armor knocked bottles with a man in Turquoise colored armor, they were laughing, both of them were drunk. The rest of the other blues, four of them, all armor of the different shades of blue were either dancing or drinking. Their sergeant was the DJ, he was spinning the records and not really caring what his team was really doing.

The blues were partying, and the reds were attacking, the Hog was in plain sight. It would have been easily dispatched if the most of the blues weren't drunk. A sort of sober blue saw the jeep and yelled, "RED ATTACK!" But no one took him seriously, and he was drowned out by the music. He grabbed his assault rifle and a bunch of sticky grenades and went out to face the jeep alone.

The thing is the particular blue isn't that bright, but he has been known to take down vehicles and the people inside it with just his rifle. But not today, or anyday else, for he got blown up by a rocket. The blast was just loud enough to be heard through the music, the sergeant stopped it abruptly, causing a few confused looks, until another one was taken down by the Gauss Cannon.

"Wheeee!" said Frank as he drove the car in circles around Blue base, Jack was firing away on any blue that was his his sights. The blues panicked, that was the first time they've been caught off guard, the blues fired at the Hog, but since they were drunk, the vehicle's drive and gunner weren't hit. The Turquoise colored blue grabbed his sniper rifle and started firing at the driver, if he wasn't drunk, the driver's head would have been a bloody mess on the wheel, alas he drank too much, so the sniper bullets kept hitting the passenger's seat instead.

One by one the blues were either blown up or killed by the Gauss Cannon, until it remained the sergeant, the sniper, and the Lavender colored blue, who trying to get an aim at the moving vehicle with her Brute Shot. The sergeant saw that he was only down to two people he then asked Command to sent in some reinforcement, he was greeted by the voice of an annoying communications officer, called Jim.

"Hello there blue-dude! Jim here how's it going?"

"How's it going? HOW'S IT GOING? What are you retarded? Can't you hear gun fire or the sound of people getting almost blown up?"

"Your point?"

"Send some reinforcements oh for gods sake!"

"You will have two options, one is two months and the other one is in two minutes,"

"You have to be shitting me, the quicker one duh!"

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><p><strong>Unnamed<strong>** Frigate**

"You have to be shitting me, the quicker one duh!"

"We picked up the transmission coming from the planet Horu, sir, it would seem that the Blue need help, I don't think they'll get it in time too," said a voice. Shadows shifted, indicating movement, another voice replied, "Not if _we_ help them,"

"You're helping the Blues? I though we're just patrolling for pirates!"

"My son's one of 'em dammit! I know that voice, I didn't know Pryde would be on Horu! Call in a merc and drop him or her there, and pay in advance. That's an order!"

"Yes, sir, I'm searching for one right now...ah! There's this guy called...Onge 'La-Lewal...huh funny name, says here he's taken care of some C-listed criminals, stopped a drug trade and even tangoed with the Blood Claw pirates before, his fee isn't much too! Hired! Ooo! He returned call!"

"_Aeu_?" replied a deep voice. There was a pause, and the caller replied with, "What?"

"_Aeu whuah?_" 

"Wait...wait, speak English please?"

There was a weird sound, and the merc replied, "This is Onge' Lewal, what do you want?"

"We want you to go to the planet Horu, and help some Blue colored soldiers with their...Red problem, we'll pay for slipspace ship travel!"

The voice on the other side sighed and said "_Ohuanu kjuh ei brlong, _okay, I'll do it,"

"Great! Have fun!"

"_Ei tugreacch oox kiya,_" and the call was dropped. "Huh, funny guy, I think he's Spanish..."

"That wasn't Spanish, that was Sangheili," replied the was a pause, and after a while the one who called the Sangheili said "Wait...Whaaaaa? You mean?"

"You called a Sangheili,"

"If he's as good as his profile says, then we shouldn't be worrying, right?"

"If we intercept another call and it has yelling in both English and Sangheili, I'm throwing you out the airlock,"


End file.
